weird? yes it was.. abnormal? a bit. freak? hmm pretty much :D im not really sure what just happened (always that way) today. i met some people from my past, and i feel the memories just reappeared vividly. looking at the preparation of stupa brought me to the moment, the only moment i cant even forget. actually i felt like i was standing on my jhs's field with the booths which i remember so well around me, in fact i was standing on the terrace in front of my class and looking down from the balcony. pretty weird i know, i miss jhs sooo much!
back to the meeting, i met my "find-me" senior and my ex crush when i was in 7th grade. they looked different of course, bet my f.m senior was familiar with my face cause we had a few seconds, face to face, till then i realized it was really him. i dont know why im happy, haha, so silly. i tried to find my other senior but he wasn't there with his friends, so i went home. and... such a flashback, i imagined about star cup again, wondering that i could bring it back today, or rewind it.. life is just too fast for me.
i had a lot of best and worst memories, but the best still left behind, in a school where many good things happened, specially the stairs. i cannot tell what happened there, but i could say it was fantastic :)
past.. past.. has passed.. people say life is going on, so move on! but for me its a big NO. you might think im a person who still stuck on it,hmm, you totally got X then. tho i wrote i don't agree with "move on" thing, it doesnt mean the way you think. i got a lot of good memories in it, so i keep it deeply, and they really work, i feel alive.
im lying if i say i dont have bad memories, i do have, and same with the contrary, i still remember with details, never think to forget them. WHY?? one answer that perhaps makes you wondering about something, you wont understand because you're not myself. keeping them to me is the only sign to know and realize that i was there, and they did really happen. silly indeed, but it's life, my life.
i never meant to live this way, i mean with these memories which are too precious to be forgotten, but here i am, standing to wait the time. the time for what? sorry i totally cant tell. once i read a book and found, "keep your memories in a box deep in your heart, and later if you open the box, there will be no tear for the sad one, and only smile for the joy, either for the sadness" i think it's quite good, isnt it? so i decided, im walking through this life, even though im "alone", i'll stay, i'll be patient. there will be a day where i found myself independently stand, and still, with these bestest memories.
