SO RANDOM

what time is it?? i'm looking at my clock and thinking whether myself that have damaged or the clock.. i literally feel like a bat, i cannot sleep normally these days and it's kinda troublesome to me cause it disorganizes my next day.. what should i do? all i know that i've been trying living without caffeine, maybe it has been three days, hahaha, i was exaggerating by making it sounds like forever. i had green tea latte few days ago, latte isn't a prob laa..
now i'm still chatting with ykw, he's still awake, he got me online and i couldn't whip off.. actually i can lie to him telling that i'm going to hit the sack right now but having a company in the too-early morning like this is not a bad idea at all, i'm having fun, i'm using him....hahaha.. no la, kidding.. moreover he always seems like he has something to work on, i always like to bother him..haha. #why am i so mean??
tomorrow i have many things to do, staying up like this makes me feel worried about tomorrow, GOSH! i need something to make me fall asleep..
oh ya, actually i have something to share in this post.. yesterday one of my besties told me that she found a blog, she guessed that it's L's blog.. well, haters gonna hate, but i don't give a damn, sure whoever knows me well and reads her posts will never believe her bullshits. if i can suggest you, l, stop wasting time and stop messing around with me like i will look toward you, cause i'll never do that.. make your days more productive, k??
i still got something to share, it's about my study (again).. i feel like i ever got a weird dream but haven't told anybody about it.. i personally feel unsure about the whole story but i remembered in it i got a text from my dad that he crystal clearly forbids me to go to UGM.. that's kinda scary cause his supports mean the whole world to me.. but he knows that i'm already grown up and i can take care of myself, so whenever i'll go i wish he can support.. i'm gonna miss my life here if i move out but i have my plans and goals, i'm just one step closer to start everything.. just wish me luck!!! let's see where God takes me..
okaaay, now it's too late for me to sleep cause i have to wake my sist up and make breakfast for her, and the ending will be me taking her to school, sounds sweet but sour for me -___-'
see ya later!!

Kesekian Kali

Lagi-lagi lagu ini mengingatkan akan sebuah pengalaman.. pengalaman yg takkan bisa ditukar dengan apapun, takkan pernah bisa terulang setiap detik dan menitnya, takkan pernah bisa dirasakan lagi indah dan sakit yg dibuatnya..

Terasa sangat bodoh dan konyol, menangisi sesuatu yg sudah berlalu, bahkan yg dimaksudpun mungkin sudah tidak mengingat apa yg kami alami.. indahnya masa-masa itu, dimana kami saling menyampaikan perasaan secara tersirat, namun tak satu kata pun terucap dari bibir ini. kami terpaku, ingin sekali melawan waktu..

Berlalu dengan sangat cepat, tiada kesempatan yg tersisa, seakan terpisah antara 2 dimensi.. terus meyakini diri bahwa sesuatu yg baik akan terjadi dan Tuhan memang baik. Kami menangisi keadaan, meratapi kesalahan kami yg menyianyiakan banyak kesempatan yg Ia berikan..

Sesuatu yg baik memang terjadi, itulah yg semula muncul dalam pikiran.. 2 tahun penuh ketidakpastian, saling menerka, saling mencari tahu, tiada yg kami dapatkan. 2 minggu penuh arti kami lalui, tertinggal seberkas luka yg sampai saat ini masih terbuka. Apa buktinya? Sesak rasanya mengingat sosok dia..

Apakah benar katanya? Rasa sakitnya membuat ia begitu tega.. apakah ia bersalah? Tidak sepenuhnya.. sesal kubawa sampai hari ini, waktu takkan mungkin berjalan mundur untuk membawa kejadian itu menjadi nyata sekali lagi.. masa lalu takkan pernah terhapus sepenuhnya, pasti tersisa sedikit dalam lubuk hati. Pelajaran berharga yg takkan pernah terasa sama..

Kini ketidakadilan terhadap seseorang, seseorang yg telah ada disini selama ini, yg selalu berkata “tidak apa-apa” atas hal ini, harus dihentikan.. rasa bersalah ini suatu saat takkan tersisa.. suatu saat pula akan datang masanya, dimana lagu ini terasa indah didengar dan tak terbersit sedikitpun kepedihan di masa lalu..

"Bukalah hatimu, bukalah matamu selebar-lebarnya, tak usah mencari lagi jika sudah kau temukan seseorang yg kau anggap layak.. berilah ia kesempatan, mencairlah sedikit untuk tahu yg terbaik untukmu."

JANGAN PERNAH SIA-SIAKAN SESEORANG YG MAU BERJUANG UNTUKMU!